We’ve all seen it before, that passive aggressive Facebook status claiming ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst then you certainly don’t deserve me at my best’. What subsequently follows is either a before and after fitness photo or an array of club photos where said status updater is surrounded by a dozen people of their sexual preference.

I like to think that in a time before social media you would simply delete your ex’s number, avoid their favourite bar and await the inevitable run in at a time when you don’t look and feel like Bridget Jones (at the start of the movie).

My only experience with this was the breakdown of my childhood romance with Oliver. What ever happened to our relationship, you ask? Well, I wouldn’t know. Thankfully at the tender age of 10 I had no way of documenting this relationship, on Facebook, Twitter, Bebo, MySpace, Instagram or whatever other social media outlets you deem most worthy of your time. He left a heart shaped balloon at my door on Valentines Day and that is all I remember of our romance. How beautiful the simplicity of breakups in a world not dominated by social media can be.
After my most recent relationship came to an end it made me think, do we really need the ins and outs of our relationships sprawled across someone else’s newsfeed? Thankfully the breakup was amicable and we discussed the terms and conditions of the aftermath.

«We’re not really going to do that public Facebook thing are we?»
«Yeah no, definitely not a good idea.»
So after chatting about the good times and shedding some tears, I went home, took a long hot shower and then got into the practicalities of it all.

A little change of the profile picture and a review of my privacy settings and with the swift click of a button, I was «officially» single. In the same way that we had joked about legitimising our relationship by making it «Facebook official», we were ending it. And no one had to know. These days it seems as though people love to shout it from the rooftops, but I’ll never know why. Is there a satisfaction in having an attractive person like that you are «now single», or is it to simply make all friends aware at the touch of a button? A bit of a show, or simply convenience? Even if it were the latter, in an age where our social media profiles are our resumes, is it necessary? Really?

The answer is no. No it’s not. It’s uncomfortable for everyone witnessing it, it’s uncomfortable for your ex and it is as much as you might claim otherwise, it’s uncomfortable for you.

As often as I had joked about posting No Doubt’s post-breakup hit ‘Don’t Speak’ on my ex’s Facebook wall if we ever broke up, I refrained. Despite how humorous I’d find it and how soothing Gwen Stefani’s presence is as a whole, I decided to save everyone involved and all of our Facebook friends the discomfort. And simply allowed my cats to take part in Gwen Stefani appreciation hour (which they thoroughly enjoyed).

After a breakup you take on a role you may not have even realised you have: you become a PR practitioner. But the truth is that you do it everyday, when you choose the filter on your Instagram pictures, when you correct grammatical errors on your status before posting it and when you spend far too long choosing a new profile picture. You just don’t think about it much until you go through a break up. All of a sudden you start ticking over in your head who you want in your campaign (FYI: the campaign is your life, the product is you). Does your campaign really need its dirty laundry publicly aired? Does your campaign really need to share that image about what a «real relationship is»? Ultimately, it’s not doing you any favours. In fact, you’re just creating your own bad press.

Yes, we know that the gym is your one true love. Yes, we know Channing Tatum is more your type. Yes, we know you want a partner who spoils you like you «deserve», but do we actually care? No. And the reality is that you can publicly pick your past to crap in front of everyone, or you can accept the fact that whether or not everyone, including your ex partner, knows about how you feel, it still won’t change a thing. It only makes you look bitter, nasty and like you have opened the wrong tab, cause you probably should’ve just sent your ex that.

So please, don’t post passive aggressive Facebook statuses, don’t delete every photo of your ex from your profile and for your own mental health you probably shouldn’t listen to ‘Don’t Speak’…or write a public article about your breakup.